Life’s Sanctuary

For the past few weeks or should I say months, I’ve been in denial. I kept lying to myself all over again just so I can get over the fact that things will never be the same again. The truth is, I’m upset because of my friends (or friend). I’m sure she knows what I’m talking about and hopefully she gets to read this. (I highly doubt that though) As you all know, it’s been like a year now since I moved here in the US. I’m not in school yet so obviously I don’t have anything else to do. I don’t know anyone on here, or have any friends for that matter. (Except for Sam and Kat, which I’m still in contact with. Sometimes.) So life here is a total boredom. But looking at the bright sides, I got to go places that I’ve been dreaming of visiting my whole life and of course, just the thought of seeing my father for almost like seven years makes everything okay. I might not be that good to him at all right now, but that’s just me. I’m not used to show my real emotions  because I don’t ever want to feel vulnerable again. But I truly love both of my parents, they’re the reason why I’m here so I owe them a lot. I hope they know that. I’ll aways will and forever will be in their depth.

As for my friends. I may not have been able to talk to some of you guys, but always know in your heart that I’ll always be here no matter what. Our memories will forever remain in me, both good and bad. I’m really thankful that I got to meet all of you… Friends Forever.

Eva, I really am thankful to have a friend like you. You’ve always sent me messages and asked me how I’ve been. I really do appreciate it. I know that you’re really busy now and I totally understand. But if ever need me, I’ll still be here for you. I hope you know that you’re a great person and a good friend. For those people who abandoned you and didn’t appreciate you, then it’s their lost not yours. So Thank you so much for everything.

Lemon, Well it’s been a while since I haven’t talk to you. I don’t even know what college you’re in or what course you took. (I do have an idea, but it would be great to here it from you) I still have to apologize to you since I almost forgot your birthday. But don’t worry! I’m sending a package by next month and I brought you a present. It’s nothing much, more of a Katharine McPhee CD. I hope you’ll like it. She’s my favorite singer as of the moment, so I’d like to share it with you guys. I know you’re probably busy too, so I just wanted to say thank you so much for everything. The letters that you sent me and gifts, it’s all deeply appreciated.

Yan, Donna, Kaye, Jo. Well I don’t know what’s going on with you guys. But I just want to tell you that it’s been fun hanging out with you guys. It’s been great and I’ll forever remember those moments. I wish you all the best and I hope to see you all soon.

Marie, Arjay, Rizah, KC, Lichelle, and all of my ka KULIX troops. It’s been quite a year, don’t you think? It is true that the greatest years in your life is HIGHSCHOOL. The best four years of my life. I still remember those times when we’d all be outside the fields and play around. Remember the Water fights? I’m sure that the school had high water bills that year, lol. Also, the school plays every year. I know that I didn’t get the chance to be a director (Haha! I know that’s too ambitious) but it was fun, I got to experience different stage roles like being the scriptwriter during freshmen, lights manager to both sophomore and junior years, stage manager when I was in junior and senior. Also a couple of characters like soldier *rolls eyes* (I think I’m so good at that role that I had to be soldier for four years) but I do remember that I had the most roles during junior high. God! I had so many lines to remember! But anyways… I also remember that time last year, during our english play. We stayed late at school that day to finish our props. Man, that was so much fun! Remember we took our skirts off? and we only wore panytlets the entire time, well not until Sr. Ana came along. Haha! I think I still have those pictures.. Overall, I just want to thank all of you guys. I wish you all the best.

Lastly, Jym. We’ve been best friends for like seven years and I’ll forever cherish the moments we have spent. Yes, there were hard times but we always managed to push through. Remember that big fight we had when we were in freshmen? I was really mad at you but somehow I still felt so empty without having you around. I know, I was a jerk during that time but you really hurted my feelings as well as I hurted yours. But I really am thankful that we had that fight, because that’s when I started to change and didn’t get mad at all the small things. It was at that moment that I started to look things into a different perspective and not just focus on what I feel most of the time. So after that, we never had a huge fight, we’d argue a lot but we end up laughing the end of the day.

But right now, I have to be really honest with you. I’m upset because you’ve never written me a letter ever since I got here. I know you’ve probably heard that a lot of times, but this time I’m being serious. I want to be friends with you forever, not just by thoughts, but to still keep in touch with each other. I’ve done that a lot of times, it may sound as if I’m being too selfish, but you’ve got to contribute something too. Perhaps, a letter maybe? Geezz.. All I asked is for one lousy letter you know. I’m not even going to mention how much I’ve given you. You already know that. and where are the debut pictures? Nevermind..

I hope if you do read this you won’t be too upset. I still have some things to say to you. Like, I’m really thankful that you e-mailed me. It was surprising, but appreciated. Even if I have to wait like another month or so to get back with a reponse, but I really do. So thank you. You know that I can’t be mad at you forever, right? But I hope you realize what I’m trying to tell you. I’ll still be here for you, okay? Forever Friends…(^^,)

~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@

As for my Obsession. You guys must’ve realized that I’ve been completely obsessing with two people. That’s right, Sasha Cohen and Katharine McPhee. I know some of you find it funny and crazy at the same time, but it’s the only thing I can hold on to right now. I don’t get to talk with all of you guys too often, so I get lonely at times too ya know?

But it’s kinda depressing at times. You know how emotionally involve you can be for someone you idolize so much right? Well, that’s how I feel. When I first saw Sasha Cohen skate, I literally became a fan instantly. She was so amazing! I mean, I love how she projects her emotions through their music. It was as if you were watching a beautiful play unfold. It’s just incredible. So after that, I wacthed Nationals and I jumped up and dowm when she won the Gold medal. I can see that she was so happy to finally get a National title. I’ve also joined a SashaFans forum and from there I met some new people too. Then, the Olympics came. I got all so excited during those times that I barely slept at all. When I found out that she was first during the short program, I was so freakin’ HAPPY. But the next day, she fell at her long program but came back with a vengeance. It was a courageous effort that won her the Silver. I was so damn proud of her but at the same time wished that she could have won because she totally deserved it. But anyways, moving on. The next competition was Worlds and that’s like the last competition of the season, so we had high hopes that Sasha would win this one because she’d didn’t have that much competition. But boy were we wrong. I could still remember that moment, it was devastating to see her struggle out there. She only landed to clean jumps and the rest well.. From that on, I figured that she’s not going to medal. I really felt awful that day, it was just so dissappointing. But she did win a Bronze medal and it’s kinda surprising because she had so many mistakes. The thoughts that ran through my head that day was "What if", "What could’ve been", "If only". To make things worst, during the medal ceremony, I can see the pain in her eyes. It’s as if she wanted to cry but kept holding it back. I felt like crying when I saw her like that, it was just devastating to see.

Now skating season is over and I won’t be able to see her in a competition until January I think. She will skip the GP series this year, so it’s kinda sad. Right now, it’s hard because there will come a time that she’s going to retire and it’s such a pity because I’ve only been a fan of hers this year. So anyways, it was time to move on again.

Since skating season was over, I shifted my focus to American Idol. At that moment, a person named Katharine McPhee walked in. She was all cute and bubbly that I kinda started to like her, but by the time she opened her mouth and sang God Bless The Child I instantly fell in love with her voice. I was so hooked with the show that I watched it every Tuesday and Wednesday, Heck I even voted for the girl. It was CRAZY! but all worth it. I also joined forums and such like the AI boards and Idolforums, etc. although I wasn’t that very outspoken at first because I was kinda used to posting at the SashaFans forum. I have to tell you though, the AI boards are insane.. they’re like bashers and trolls everywhere! So everytime I read a negative comment about Kat, I literally get mad. It was so frustrating! But, I still got to meet some new people. There I met "Cheskie" who’s also a filipino. She’s studying in Ateneo De Manila right now. We talk once in a while but not too often since she’s busy at school. I also met another filipino, but she grew up here.

Also there’s Maddie. She’s like the sweetest person, EVER! I have a great time talking to her, she’s really funny not to mention a Janis Joplin fan. (lol) I don’t really know who that is, but I listened to one of the songs she mentioned to me and it’s like stuck in my head. Haha! The very first thing we talked about was about a DVD compilation of Katharine’s performances in Idol. She wanted to have all of Kat’s performances in a CD and will pay me for it, so I was willing to do it for her but I just didn’t want her to pay. I’ve been talking to her for a couple of days now. Oh, did I mention that when my dad told me that he couldn’t buy me AI tickets for the concert, well I cried and I told her. And she was like willing to buy me tickets, I totally didn’t expect it. It was very sweet of her (But my dad finally gave in and bought me tickets). I like totally cried (Way to go maddie!). I have fun talking to her, everyone at the boards kinda refer to her as the "McLurker Queen" so I call her that. In turn, she calls me ‘Lurker Jr. and Stalker Jr." Haha! I’m just glad that I had the chance to meet her, she’s great.

And now back to Kat. When she didn’t win American Idol, I wasn’t at all that upset because I know that this is just the beginning of her career. It’s not the same as Sasha Cohen, because these skaters pretty much have to make the best out of each opportunity. Figure Skaters have limited careers because once they reached the age of 25, they’re body is not the same as it was before. So I was still happy for Katharine even if she was just the Runner-Up. But I’ll always know in my heart that she’s my American Idol, Cause she is.

There’s a bright future waiting for her and I’m looking forward to see her succeed. As for the bashing, I know that it’ll never stop. So I’ll try my best and just stay away, who knows what might happen if I get really pissed off. But as long as it’s about Katharine, I will be defensive of her because she doesn’t deserve all of this ridiculous comments. I’m warning you all, If you ever dare and speak something bad about her I’ll come running in and beat the crap out of you.

Well I guess that’s all I have to say. I would love to share more about Kat, but I don’t think you’re all interested anyways. So I’ll keep it to myself. You might as well think that I’m going insane.

I hope all of you got to read what I had to say. Peace out!

This entry was posted on Thursday, July 27th, 2006 at 6:27 pm and is filed under Uncategorized and You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.