Teen People Magazine
American Beauty
Katharine McPhee talks to Teen People about her longtime struggle with bulimia, her self-esteem issues, the tension with Simon Cowell and more.
By Shirley Halperin
Photographs by Brian Bowen Smith
American Idol has provided tons of musical thrills and nail-biting moments, and the May 24 finale showdown between Katharine McPhee, 22, and Taylor Hicks, 29, was Idol drama at its best. But how about off-camera? "Taylor was always trying to help me in his own Taylor way, asking me about what kind of album I wanted to make," Kat says with a smirk 48 hours after he was declared the newest Idol. "I would be like, ‘Taylor, you’re not my manager. Shut up!’"
Calm down, Soul Patrol - she was kidding with him. In fact, she says, "I remember watching him when it was [the top 24] and thinking, ‘He gets you going.’ If I’d been wathcing American Idol, I probably would’ve voted for Taylor! I felt prepared [if] I wasn’t going to win, and I was totally OK with that. I just let go." For his part, Taylor says, "I’m a fan. We’re great friends. She’s a very talented girl, and I can’t wait to hear her album."
He’s not alone: The L.A.-area native is poised to become Idol’s biggest loser since Clay Aiken. The singer and budding actress has a deal with 19 Recordings Limited/RCA Records and will begin working on her debut CD while she’s on the American Idols Live Tour 2006, whcih kicks off July 5. (Her double-A-sided single, "Over the Rainbow"/"My Destiny," is out now, and her album is scheduled for a fall release.) Today, she’s posing at a Beverly Hills mansion for her first magazine cover shoot (TEEN PEOPLE!) since the finale. It’s noon, and Kat has just returned from her second appointment of the day, an audition for the HBO series Entourage, The role? A girl who has a fling with movie star Vincent Chase (the show’s star, Adrian Grenier). "It brought me back to the struggling-actress thing," she says. [But] I wasn’t quite as nervous."
Judging from her cool, calm and candid demeanor, one probably wouldn’t peg Kat as a bundle of nerves. As on Idol, during this interview, the girl isn’t afraid to speak her mind. When Simon Cowell’s dis of her performance of Christina Aguilera’s "The Voice Within" comes up, she says, "Those are the moments you hate Simon. I was already in the bottom two; you big jerk, don’t rub it in." And when the judges criticized her song choice (Yolanda Adams’s version of "I Believe I Can Fly"), she defiantly pointed out that BMG U.S. Chairman and CEO Clive Davis, that night’s guest (and her new boss, who oversees RCA Records), had actually recommended the song for her. "I had nothing to lose," she says. "I was the only girl left, and I was like, ‘You know what? You are not going to tell me I picked a wrong song.’ [But] I meant it with all the sweetness in my heart." Paula Abdul calls the exchange "a little embarrassing" while insisting she’s a fan: "Katharine is primed to be the next Kelly Clarkson. She is so beautiful and such an inspiration."
Although Kat considers her Idol loss to be the ultimate rejection, she’s used to hard knocks. Pre-Idol, she explains, at least 195 out of 200 or so auditions she had in 18 months were rejections. She reasons it wasn’t about lack of talent but, rather, the weight she’d gained while majoring in musical theater at the Boston Conservatory (she left at the end of her sophomore year to pursue acting). "I definitely put on the ‘freshman 20′" she admitts. "We would [go out], get back to the dorm at two in the morning, have three slices of Little Steve’s House of Pizza — which were big — and go to bed."
Her weight issues led to something much more damaging: bulimia, as first reported by PEOPLE. Kat suffered on and off from ages 17 to 21. "I was a binge-and-purger," she tells TEEN PEOPLE. "It always starts off with a diet. The more I dieted, the more I became obsessed with food. Food was like a drug to me…. It was such a miserable life."
The roots of her eating disorder may have been planted early on. "At 13, my body changed," says the 5-foot-8 singer. "Overnight, I had womanly curves and big boobs. [Before,] I was a stick and could eat all I wanted." When she got to Notre Dame High School in Sherman Oaks, Calif., she still struggled with her self-image. "I was on the swim team but always [felt] uncomfortable in bathing suits," she recalls. "I got more and more obsessed with trying to lose weight and looking like other 14- and 15-year-olds," she says. "I think it has to do with growing up in L.A., where people are more body-conscious."
At times, she also had difficulties with her mom, Peisha, 52, a vocal coach and singer-actress who began teaching Kat when she was four. (Her dad, Daniel, 57, is in advertising and special events.) "I just hated my mom [in high school] because she’d never let me do anything," Kat recalls. "I was always the one who had to come home early — freshman year at 10 p.m., sophomore year at 10:30–it was ridiculous. I’m still angry," she says jokingly. That’s not to say Kat — who has a sister, Adriana, 24, an aspiring TV producer — didn’t get around the rules. "I’d say I was spending the night at a friend’s and my mom would go, ‘OK, call me at midnight.’ So I’d be at a party in another room like, ‘Shhh… everybody be quiet.’"
Kat asserted her independence during the competition. "My mom would call me and be concerned [about the show], and there came a point where I drew the line. You have to let me make my own decisions. That was a huge thing for me and my mom." Peisha acknowledges the rough patches but says, "We’re really attached. When I took her to college, it was hard for her to leave me. Sometimes I can feel her thinking, and she can feel me thinking. We’re a lot alike"
Battling Depression
For all the growing pains, Kat is thankful for her mom’s support during her toughest period: right after she left college. "I’d cry every day," she says. "I’d tell my mom [that moving back home] was the worst decision, that I should’ve stayed in school, where I’d probably be starring in a show." She remembers the feedback her manager would get from auditions: "’Just lose 10 to 15 pounds, and we’ll start booking stuff.’ I saw, like, five dietitians and even this really famous doctor for weekly acupuncture to relieve my stress. My mom was doing everything to help me." Says Peisha, "She looked beautiful but felt she wasn’t camera-ready. It’s unfortunate our society is obsessed with being so stick thin."
Meanwhile, Kat’s lvoe life was also bumpy. She admits she’s had her share of failed romances. "You feel desperate when someone doesn’t treat you right and you really like him," she says. "It’s that whole chase thing," Now she knows the danger signs: "When you are trying to please the person as opposed to just being who you are, you have to end it."
Kat’s current boyfriend, whom she prefers not to discuss publicly, isn’t the only improvement in her life. Just before making it to Idol, she entered a three-month eating-disorder program and read the book Intuitive Eating. Now about 135 pounds (she was 165 at her heaviest), she’s more confident in her own skin. "I was acutally addressing the issue, not trying to lose weight. I was letting my body do what it naturally wanted to do by eating normally." In fact, she says, "I’m really starting to embrace my curves."
She’s embracing her furture too. "I’m so glad the show is over," she says. "I know I could [end up] being ‘that girl who was on American Idol,’ so now it’s about making smart decisions and getting opportunities." One more might soon come knocking: Shortly after the interview,Kat got a callback from Entourage. Maybe somewhere over the rainbow those skies will be bluer than ever.
